My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize