You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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