put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
