Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
