Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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