My room smells like vodka and shame
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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