Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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