Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Come see our sink grown plant.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
