its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
