He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
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