I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
