Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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