Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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