No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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