so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My bed smells like the plague
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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