When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
