I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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