I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
