New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Found the puke drawer
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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