Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I want her autograph on my taint
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
