I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
