Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
