spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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