We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
