I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize