Can i not drive my cunt home
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
