I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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