i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
