I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
