Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize