Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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