he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
