Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
