I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
