tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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