420 ftw
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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