North Korea, Best Korea!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
