I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
