Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
