THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
