Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
