it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize