walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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