we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
