Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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