no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
