just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There r osticjed everywhere
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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