he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Randomize
