FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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