I CAN MOONWALK!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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