So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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