maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
