Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
