Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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