Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my being single is dangerous.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
