Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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