so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
