just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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