no, he came in my armpit
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
