singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
