Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
