i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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