i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize