the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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