The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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