There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
