you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
