The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
