Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
