So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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