Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we're making bets on your personal life
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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