So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
