i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
